Purpose

Sunday, August 3rd, 2025

When people talk about finding the meaning of life. I like to think the meaning of life is a personal stand point. So the real question would be,“What is the meaning of your life?”

And the answer would always be, “What you make it.”

For me, that answer is consistently changing. I would get told that is normal for people who are also in there early to mid twenties. But what I was taught in school mades it seems like that’s wrong. I was told I should know what I should be by the end of high school, and should be living a euphoric life by thirty. Well, now I’m twenty-four, almost twenty-five, and at this point, the only thing I intend on becoming is a writer in some fashion. Going to university was never on the list of things to do when I made this decision. Really I’d just be going to enhance my writing and literary skills. To be more effective.

As of writing this entry I am working on three books. One of which is currently in the second draft. I will admit, wiring a book has taught me one important thing that I will always be grateful for. Something I have struggle for throughout my teens and early twenties without realizing it.

Patience.

I wanted to get the first book I wrote done before the end of the year. I started the first draft on Sunday, February 25th, 2024 and wanted to finished it by late December of that year. Within those ten months I learned a lot about writing book in itself. The first thing I learned is that nothing is guaranteed. I could right put my heart and soul into this book and it could have the same great story to the point where it gets turned into a movie two years later, just to barely break through the surface a year after launch. While writing this book, I focused less on the potential successes and forced more on making something I would be proud of making no matter what. What would be the point in making something that becomes successful if the process was far from it. Now I’m successful off of something that I fucking hated making. Now I’ve become successful on something I couldn’t give any less fucks about.

However, even after finally wanting to become the general basis of something, I also want to do something more than writing stories. Really anything to avoid burnout. I chose to become the person 13-year-old me wanted to become. To become a therapist and help people with there mental problems. Although, I haven’t exactly gotten over mine, so I can’t really imagine myself successfully helping people. So instead I’m going to become a journalist. I don’t know why, but I want to be a journalist for BBC. Which brings me to another obstacle. Getting my bachelors in journalism.

I tried going for GRCC and then transferring over to GVSU. Or a college out of the state/country. However having to go back and forth with my FAFSA of either forgetting to submit it for the Winter semester of 2025, to the transaction getting cancelled and me not being able to get into my account to fix it before GRCC’s system dropped my classes. I wanted to say fuck it and give up right then and there. But now instead of transferring to GVSU, I’m now going to just go straight there. Completely paying out of pocket. If I don’t get this then the next thing I might do is restart my YouTube channel. I want to do something more other than writing books all day. I also do photography as a hobby, but there are times where I don’t even want to edit them all, let alone go through and delete the ones that are not worth saving.

I guess from here we’ll see what may happens from here on out.

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