A Letter to My Best Friend

Monday, October 5th, 2020

To my best friend,

I want to start off by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry we ever became friends, because ever since we have, you have done nothing but carry my emotional weight with me. All the while, I’ve done nothing but make it heavier.

Sometimes I even regret making the promise to you.

Like the time I promised you that if everything isn’t fine, then I'll let you know the next time I need you. But instead of following through with this promise I lie to your face. Sometimes lying to you would hurt more than this knife. My heart yearns to tell you the truth, but my mind shuts it out as to not waste any more of your time.

Like the time I promised you that if everything isn’t fine, then I'll let you know the next time I need you.

But instead of following through with this promise I lie to your face. Sometimes lying to you would hurt more than this knife. My heart yearns to tell you the truth, but my mind shuts it out as to not waste any more of your time.

I know you have second thoughts about wanting to be my friend and I am sorry for that. Your patience and generosity is being wasted on me, but just so you know, it’s okay if you make the decision to leave me behind. You’d be doing yourself a favor.

I may have been your worst mistake, but you will always be my greatest choice.

All the times I thought to myself that I’m finally ready to leave everything behind, the thought of you is like air, filling my lungs with air so I can take what was supposed to be my last death.

As much as I want to relieve you of my burdens. I know ending my life would only bring you more pain. Constantly reminding you of the good times we shared together, and the good times we will never have again.

I still remember the day you told me that I helped repair your damaged heart. That showing you the love I did means that you will never give up on me. If only my memories weren’t so blank, maybe then I can understand why you waste your time being my friend. I know you want to stay close, but I have to keep my distance. Removing myself from your life would be my final gift to you. I just can’t let you know when I become apart of the past. When I only live in forgotten memories.

I still remember the day you told me that I helped repair your damaged heart. That showing you the love I did means that you will never give up on me. If only my memories weren’t so blank then maybe then I can understand what you were referring to.

I'm sorry it's come to this, but I can no longer stand idly by and watch you being dragged down because of me.

All those good times we had together. Seems more like dreams than memories. Because who would have a good time with me.

So I say thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I hope you can forgive my decision.

I know you want to stay close, but I have to keep my distance. So at least you won’t wonder the good times we could have continued to make.

Because I can’t let you know when I become apart of the past. When I only live in forgotten memories, but I’m sure you can find someone better than me.

I'm sorry it's come to this, but thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I hope you can forgive my decision.

Love, Omega.

Word Count: 628